Momnesia

I made dinner tonight: ham with prailene sauce, black-eyed peas, butternut squash. Tasty! But there’s a recurring problem with my cooking...

Scott: Okay, I never criticize your cooking, but every time you make beans...

I double over laughing.
Me: I know! They’re pretty bad!

Scott: (grinning) Okay, I word of advice: They’re already cooked.
I laugh harder. They’re pretty scary looking.

Me: What? You didn’t know I was making hummus tonight?
Scott: It’s not like hummus. It’s like porridge.

I clutch the couch for support while laughing.
Scott: We’re not bears.