Re-launched, but still slightly under construction. :-)

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

How I know my child is smarter than I am

I don't know if there's something stressing Emerson out, or what, but she's been super grumpy in the mornings the last couple of weeks. If she's not careful, she's going to spend a good portion of the rest of her life in time-out. She'll emerge at the age of 28, blinking from the light of the sun and gasping, "Trees! I remember trees!"

You think I kid, but her behavior is ridiculous. This morning, I was trying to get her to brush her hair. She refused to let me braid it the night before, so it was crazy tangled.

"Emmie! Dear lord, you have been brushing your hair for 30 minutes, and you've only done half of it. Will you please make an actual effort?"

Basically, she'd been sitting and staring at the radiator, absently pulling a comb through her tangles. I'd been riding her all morning, to the point where I'd even made a little "We Will Rock You" song-and-dance routine:

"brushyour HAIR! brushyour HAIR!
brushyour HAIR! brushyour HAIR!
Emmie you're a girl, head of cute curls
Brushin' your noggin gonna get smooth hair that way
You got a comb in your hand
Brush your hair, it's the law of the land.
Singing we will, we will BRUSH YOU!"


Blink. Blinkblink.
Seriously. Nothing.

"Emmie, do you think I like telling you to brush your hair all morning? Do you think I get up in the morning, make your breakfast and lunch, take a shower, brush my teeth and think about ways to nag you? Do you think I'm like, 'Today, I will tell Emerson to brush her hair 75 times.' That's not my goal."

She looked directly at me for the first time all morning: "Dat might not be da goal, but it's da score."



  1. I totally laughed OUT LOUD with this. How do you do it? I mean, how do you keep a straight face? I know that talking back is not polite, and she should not talk back to you, especially not in that smarty-pants kinda way... but you GOTTA give her credits for cleverness!! You should punish her based on her level of wittiness: if she's rude but extremely witty, her punishment NEEDS to be lowered :-) Hugs from Emmie's BIGGEST FAN!!

  2. Are you kidding me? I laughed my butt off! And then I gave her a quarter. No, really, I did. And then I brushed her hair, which she hates, because it hurts when I do it. But too bad. She should have brushed it herself instead of thinking of awesome zingers to lob at me.

  3. OMG, I remember my mom brushing my hair... that is enough punishment!!

  4. Yeah, you both have that curly hair. I've taken to braiding hers at night, which helps a lot. Even a ponytail makes a difference.