Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tiny hero almost triumphs in battle
As I've stated many times before, bugs terrify me. Anything resembling a bug, even fake bugs, makes me nervous.
I'm lucky to have a daughter who is largely fearless when it comes to bugs. She volunteered to catch her first bug at 18 months old - and...
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Appalachian Emergency Room, Part 1
My younger sister, Kelli, refuses to start her own blog (even though she's the one person in the world who can make me laugh hard enough to vomit), so I have decided that I will occasionally post a story from her part-time gig at a natural foods store...
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Obama death panels come to Augusta
Me: "Sometimes I wish there were death panels - so I could be on one. I have a list."
Allison: "I think we should use a big foam finger. And when I touch you - BAM! - you've been death-paneled."
Me: "People will be all, 'Not the fingerrrrrrrrrr!'...
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
How I know my child is smarter than I am
I don't know if there's something stressing Emerson out, or what, but she's been super grumpy in the mornings the last couple of weeks. If she's not careful, she's going to spend a good portion of the rest of her life in time-out. She'll emerge at the...
Monday, December 19, 2011
Twenty stupid things I have done just this week
I know there are lots of people who feel depressed over the holidays. I used to feel depressed, but now I just walk around with a big cloud of resentment hanging over me. Who are these people who have the time to make homemade wreaths and tie perfect...
Friday, December 16, 2011
All Em wants for Christmas is...
Me: "Emmie wants a pet for Christmas. Is a kitten asking for trouble? Maybe I'll just get her a gerbil."
Alice: "How about a parakeet?"
Me: "Eff birds. They terrify me."
Alice: "Me, too!"
Me: "They're just Velociraptors with feathers. You can tack...
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Hide your grandma!
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Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Flawless plan for holiday fitness
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Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Visual therapy
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Monday, December 12, 2011
Trollin' at work
At work, eating lunch with co-workers. T. doesn't eat red meat and was horrified to hear that A. had eaten veal parmesan while out to dinner.
T: "I can't believe you ate a baby cow!"
A: "Yes, and it was delicious! I also had Dungeness crab while I...
Friday, December 09, 2011
Training for Christmas (repost)
One of the reasons Scott and I don't take Emmie some places - like, to the Georgia Health Sciences Children's Medical Center Radiothon to be interviewed - is because I never know what is going to come out of that child's mouth.
So Christmas is a...
Thursday, December 08, 2011
One of my favorite works of art
Heck, no, it's not mine. I can't draw!
Click the image to enlarge.
...
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Meeting etiquette: The smart-ass friends edition
"I just had a two-hour meeting, the result of which was that we decided to hold a five-hour meeting next week."
"My meetings last about five minutes before the boss gets distracted by something shiny and I have the threaten to punch him in the face."
"My...
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
This makes me laugh - and think
Click the image to enlarge.
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Monday, December 05, 2011
Teacher Gift Ideas, 2011
Augusta, GA. - I have a lot of teachers and teachers-to-be in my extended family. And every year they get a treasure trove of sweet little gifts from their students. Teachers REALLY appreciate the gesture, and while it doesn't change the way they treat...
Friday, December 02, 2011
Happy Holidays? Or Merry Christmas?
WBBQ is playing Christmas music. The advertising circulars are pushing strings of lights and artificial trees. And someone on Warren Road who doesn't have to worry about paying his electricity bill already has a house and yard with so many lights that...
