Momnesia

Conversations

Me: You want to do dinner tonight? I miss you! I will bring to you. I have a big container of ceviche all ready - it's been marinating all night.

Mary Anne: Sold! You could seriously bring a peanut butter sandwich and I would think you were Wolfgang Puck. Although we might have to let the kids eat picnic style.

Me: The kids can eat doggie style, I don't care. Oh, wait, that sounds dirty. Sorry.

Mary Anne: LMAO! I actually didn't think of the sexual reference. I thought
on all fours, eating out of their bowls.

Me: That's how I meant it. With their faces.

Mary Anne: Then Boy Wonder lifting his leg to pee. Then I was mortified and had to correct the behavior - IN MY MIND. Yeah, that is how my brain is working these days.

Me: You crack me up.

Mary Anne: Oh, I wish I was as funny as you, my dear.

Me: Oh, please. Evidence of my lameness: I got into a twitter fight with some douche who stole my "Planet of the Apes" joke for HIS twitter feed. And he's a professional comedian or something, the big lazy butthead. Then a follower pointed out that I'm probably not the only person who thought of that. Which, okay, maybe. But a retweet would still have been more appropriate.

Mary Anne: Ugh - yeah, you are so much more advance on the Interwebz than I am. I don't tweet. Honestly, never have tweeted ONCE.

Me: I just use Twitter because I have all my accounts linked to one another. I update twitter or blogger, and BOOM! Stacey explosion on the universe. It can thank me later.

Mary Anne: I am so 1991. You know, like back when going to the mall didn't potentially get you killed.

Me: Eff that, I'm from Atlanta. Going to the MAIL potentially gets you killed there. As in mailbox. Yeah, that joke didn't really work the way I wanted it.

Mary Anne: LOL! I am still laughing, so it worked for me. Who else can I chat with and get an ab workout at the same time?

Me: Richard Simmons?

Mary Anne: Dude, IS HE ON FACEBOOK? I'm checking now... hmm. I found his profile.
But how do i know if it is really him?

Me: LOL! I was messing with you!

Mary Anne: Yeah, I know. But, hey, who doesn't want to be friends with HIM on FB? That is bragging rights - like party conversation, right there. "Well, Richard was saying...." "I totally worked on RS's farm yesterday..." Wow, he has 955 friends. He is way cooler than I imagined. Now stalking Weird Al Yankovic to see if he has a FB page 'cause, duh, the direct leap from Richard Simmons to Al is obvious.

Me: That would be legendary. 

Mary Anne: Holy Hell. There is a Weird Al app. My day just got infinitely more interesting.

Me: LOL! Let me know how that works out for you. I'll be there at 7 p.m. Screw laundry. I don't need underwear. That's what pants are for.

Me: Just check the pants first. I mean, you know, 'cause, um, that one time?

Me: Hey, I did Atlanta a FAVOR!

Mary Anne: CLEARLY.