Momnesia

Scott sits up in bed very suddenly, startling me out of sleep.
“Honey? What’s wrong?”
I pat his back with my eyes closing.
“You can apply for the peppers and onions at HM if I don’t ever wake up.
pause. My eyes open.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“The peppers and onions.”
I roll my eyes. Jeez. Here we go. He is looking at me, expectantly.
“What good will that do me?”
“They’re 50 cents.”
“Uh-huh, and I have to apply for this?”
“Go for it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about at 4 a.m.?!” I smack him in the arm.
“Please don’t do that.”
He said it so forcefully I thought that he must be awake.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’d rather you just took the peppers and onions instead of making a goddamn scene about it.”
(groan)

I decide he can talk to himself, roll over, and try to go back to sleep. He gets up to pee. Well, of course now I have to, too. Damn. I come back to bed. He’s asleep. I lay down and close my eyes...
“I want my C-H-E-S back and then I’ll let Patrick off the hook.”
(goddammit!)
“What’s C-H-E-S?”
(he scoffs)Cheese.”
“What?”
He sits up and glares at me: “WHAT do you want?”
“What?”
“”What do you WANT?”
“Hey, you woke me up!”
“Okay, I’m quickly going from angry to livid. WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
“YOU woke ME up! What do YOU want?!”
He sighs exasperatedly, puts his head down and closes his eyes.
“I want cheese on my goddamn salad.”

Wow, does the couch look comfy right now, or what?