Sunday, January 15, 2006
Epistolary Confessions
Dear Penny -
I am writing to apologize to you. I feel like I have wronged you horribly. I know that on several occasions, I have made shameless fun of you for your enjoyment of George Michael.
Now I must confess: I love George Michael, too. I have long been too cool to admit it.
But I am here now! I am set free! And I say to the world: I love George Michael! Yes, I paid $40 to see him from very far away at the old Atlanta Stadium. I bought a t-shirt! I watched his ass with great concern in his torn jeans and leather jacket with the pearls hanging off the shoulder. And the stubble! I was ALL ABOUT the stubble! (Well, except for this guy in high school who actually bought one of those electric razors that let you “choose your own stubble” and also styled his hair with the puffy pseudo-wings. I mean, the look was great, and all, but not to the extent of idolization and expensive razor-buying.)
But worse than the transformation of a 15-year-old with unnaturally heavy facial hair into a physical clone of an aging gay pop star is that my favorite Christmas carol is “Last Christmas.” Oh, yeah: I said it. (FYI, my second-favorite Christmas carol is “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses... Which is worse, I know not.)
In the end, I am most disturbed by the fact that I was so turned on by both the song and the video for “Father Figure.” A part of me still is. But I gotta have “Faith” and work through my issues now that I’m "Older." I’m going to give it “One More Try” to prevent any “Careless Whispers.” Perhaps if I had a “Teacher”...
Love,
Stacey
I am writing to apologize to you. I feel like I have wronged you horribly. I know that on several occasions, I have made shameless fun of you for your enjoyment of George Michael.
Now I must confess: I love George Michael, too. I have long been too cool to admit it.
But I am here now! I am set free! And I say to the world: I love George Michael! Yes, I paid $40 to see him from very far away at the old Atlanta Stadium. I bought a t-shirt! I watched his ass with great concern in his torn jeans and leather jacket with the pearls hanging off the shoulder. And the stubble! I was ALL ABOUT the stubble! (Well, except for this guy in high school who actually bought one of those electric razors that let you “choose your own stubble” and also styled his hair with the puffy pseudo-wings. I mean, the look was great, and all, but not to the extent of idolization and expensive razor-buying.)
But worse than the transformation of a 15-year-old with unnaturally heavy facial hair into a physical clone of an aging gay pop star is that my favorite Christmas carol is “Last Christmas.” Oh, yeah: I said it. (FYI, my second-favorite Christmas carol is “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses... Which is worse, I know not.)
In the end, I am most disturbed by the fact that I was so turned on by both the song and the video for “Father Figure.” A part of me still is. But I gotta have “Faith” and work through my issues now that I’m "Older." I’m going to give it “One More Try” to prevent any “Careless Whispers.” Perhaps if I had a “Teacher”...
Love,
Stacey
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