Momnesia

I think everyone should have a theme song. It makes life more enjoyable. You can be tromping along, having a bad day, hating life and all the people in it. But if you write a really excellent theme song for yourself, and you remember to sing it at your challenging times, the whole day seems better.

One of my most challenging times is when I have to clean up yet another steaming pile of "I-Gotcher-Housebroken-Right-Here" Barkley's or "Hey-Barkley-Did-It-First" Scrabble's dog poop. He's catching on, but verrrrrrryy slooooooowly. So I wrote a theme song for the moments when I want to rename one of them Jimmy Dean and send him to the sausage factory.

Scrabble's is sung to the tune of "Modern Major General" from "Pirates of Penzance"

I am the very model of a modern doggie scrabbler
I chew and then I poo I tell you I am not a dabbler
I run and hide and jump and scratch
And then I try to smell your snatch
I am the very model of a modern doggie scrabbler
And when it rains I refuse to become a doggie drabbler
And happily eschew the potty training of my handler
And I will not learn to play catch
For tricks and such I am mismatched
I am the very model of a modern doggie Scrabbler

Barkley's is sung to the tune of "Old Man River" from "Showboat," because he has sad eyes and whiskers like an old man.

There's an ol' man called Barkley
That's the ol' man I'd like to be
What does he care if the world's got troubles?
He only cares if his food bowl's empty
Ol' Man Barkley
That Ol' Man Barkley
He don't know nuthin
But keeps on barkin
He just keeps rompin'
He keeps on stompin' along
He don't chase squirrels
He don't catch mouses
And them that gets 'em
Don't have dog houses
But Ol' Man Barkley
He just keeps rompin' along