Momnesia

Boyfriend and I are lying on my bed, talking. He's relating a story that seems to have no point, and yet goes on for hours.Me (with mock exhaustion): God, I've had dates shorter than this story!Boyfriend (poking me with his finger): You're about to...

In abnormal psychology, we were often asked to evaluate the behavior of a videotaped subject. The members of the class would give their opinions on what the behaviors signified, if anything. I am convinced that there is a whole universe, somewhere,...

Weird Religious Guy (getting ice for his table's drinks): Good grief, girl!Me (swiping a credit card to take payment on a check): What?Weird Religious Guy: Your teeth are inordinately white.Me (I've never thought my teeth were white): Really?Weird Religious...

So out of the blue the other day, one of the new guys at work comes in the kitchen, where I'm prepping a tray of drinks for a table. It's loud, noisy, hot, and mid-shift - which means that it hasn't been long enough to forget about the stupid tables...

Manager (holding a mid-rare filet mignon): Stacey, do you mean table 44 or 45?Me (confused...and yet so very articulate): Huh?Manager (looking at me with derision): Where. Does. This. Steak. Go.Me (more confused): All of my tables are already eating.Manager...