Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The Razor's Edge
"Hairy!" he says as he rubs his hand briskly over the fish-white skin of my legs."You should see my armpits," I mutter irritably."Why don't you shave them?" He is poking at the short hairs like a toddler discovering a bug on the sidewalk."What for?""It's...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Overheard at the Halloween Party
"What's normal for sex? Try every night!""Hey, I have something that might interest you.""I doubt it.""New spiders are showing up.""That's like where he goes when he's a bad boy.""Oh, you have no idea.""I think Corey should lose his shoe. I'm going...
Saturday, October 28, 2006
An Old Story
Circa 2000...At 5 a.m., I am awakened by the certainty that we are not alone. Sensing my partner asleep beside me, I slowly open my eyes. A breeze brushes my face and then I look into the face of terror: the gaping maw of a giant, ferocious bat!Wheeling...
Life of the Dead
So one of the editors, the high school intern (who we love, and who sometimes babysits for us), and I are discussing my zombie evacuation plan. I've drawn a diagram that is lacking only in X's and O's to move around - in sheer panic, of course. That's...
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
The Most Perfect...
The World's Most Perfect StaplerThe World's Most Efficient Stapler ThiefAND the number four prostitute in all of Kazakhsta...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Graveyard Shift
It doesn't matter if you believe in ghosts. At midnight in a cemetery in the middle of Nowhere, S.C., shadows, breezes and soft sounds take on supernatural shape.
The woods are pockmarked with tombstones. It’s so dark I can see galaxies whirling overhead....
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Help Teach a Woman to Fish
Pristine white cribs stand empty and waiting in quiet rooms painted a soothing azure at in this old building. Yellow ducks adorn a bathroom that has never cleaned chubby cheeks. A walk-in closet stocks Huggies diapers and wipes, Johnson’s Baby Shampoo...
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Pillow Talk
As I've discussed here before, Scott talks in his sleep. I like to know what he's thinking about in his sleep, so I can rarely resist questioning him. Last night, he got his revenge when I came back to bed at 3 a.m. after dealing with Emerson for an...
