Momnesia

I'm running around like crazy at work. I have two four-tops in the addition, a four-top in the 200s, and a nine-top in the 60s. I have a stack of plates I'm trying to balance long enough to get them to the dishpit. I'm so scared I won't make it that...

Me (pulling my car up to the Jiffy Lube): Hi! I just need an oil change today. Mechanic (nodding): Does Jan still work there? Me (looking around to see if he's talking to me): What? Mechanic (pointing to my work t-shirt): Does Jan still work there?...

Three ladies sat down at a table today. They were dressed in matching red blazers. I took them for real estate agents.Lady 1: You know, you just have the nicest disposition; has anyone ever told you that?Ladies 2 and 3 nod and affirm their agreement:...