Monday, October 27, 2014
Product Review: steaz Organic teas
AUGUSTA, GA. - Having been raised in the South on Georgia table wine - AKA sweet tea, I have very specific ideas about what constitutes "good tea." That's Tetley, hot water, sugar, ice. The end. Away with your lemon slices and Lipton. What is wrong with you?
But Klout sent me a box of fair trade items to try, so I gave steaz teas a shot. I really enjoyed this tea. It was smooth, consistent, and lacked a preservative taste that I've come to expect from bottled teas. In addition, their teas are organic, fair trade certified, and American-owned.
Best of all, I understand their ingredient list: Filtered water, organic evaporated cane juice, natural peach flavor, organic lemon juice, fair trade certified™ organic green tea. Ha. Didn't even need my three years of high school Latin to decipher that.
Still, I am not a big tea drinker. Most days, I drink a single diet cola (totally non-organic, not fair trade certified, and made of things I can't pronounce) in the morning, and water the rest of the day.
steaz has not changed my mind about that routine. First, they are selling tea in a can. That is just wrong. Second, that tea is $1.75 a can. So, already, there are two strikes against steaz.
However, steaz has created a little bit of magic. They made something peach-flavored that I didn't want to throat-punch. I mean, nothing with an artificial fruit flavor tastes like the fruit. But there is a hierarchy of yuck when it comes to artificial fruit flavors.
Top Five Worst Artificial Fruit Flavors
5. Cherry - Apart from the popular yet mostly ineffectual Luden's cough drops, nothing cherry flavored ever did anyone any good. Not even cough syrups. We just give Emerson honey, instead.
4. Melon - Tastes like peach, banana, and Windex mixed together. Sometimes you get strawberry-melon as a choice, and that must be what eating a Yankee candle tastes like.
3. Peach - Always ends up tasting like a hibiscus-banana hybrid. Yuck. Plus, now, thanks to the Internet, I can't think of peaches without thinking of this crazy lady.
2. Banana - Bananas are just nasty. Artificial banana flavor is a weird, misguided attempt to replicate a fruit that is already the bottom of the fruit barrel.
1. Raspberry/Strawberry - One, raspberry flavoring tastes a little bit like fruit-flavored bile. Two, these fruit flavors (and vanilla) are achieved by milking a beaver's anal glands.
So while peach isn't The Worst artificial flavor, it's in the top five. As determined by me.
Again, I really enjoyed this tea. As I stated above.
Will I buy a $1.75 can of tea to drink every morning?
No.
Will I buy a $1.75 can of tea to drink every once in a while?
...Maybe?
But for those people who would do so, I highly recommend giving these teas a try. They really are super tasty. Even if they're in a can.
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