Product Review: Dr. Scholl's Dream Walks ~ Momnesia

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Product Review: Dr. Scholl's Dream Walks

Tuesday, October 07, 2014 By Unknown

I would say that the above photo pretty much sums up my experience with high heels. I own probably 10 pairs of various kinds of heels - sandals, boots, pumps. And I might wear them once a year. I hate heels. Hate them. Didn't wear sparkly heels to any of my Major Life Events. Don't plan on doing so in the future.

You know why? Because heels hurt. They hurt a lot. I don't see why that should even be a thing that women do to themselves.

Now, I have had a few pairs of comfortable heels. They had no more than two inches in height, did not narrow to a pinpoint on which I was expected to balance, and were generously cushioned.

Unfortunately, they also seem to be as elusive as Bigfoot. ... Well, slightly less elusive than Bigfoot, as I've owned three or four comfortable pairs of heels, and approximately zero Bigfoots. Bigfeet? I don't know. Anyway.

All I want to be able to do is enjoy the air of professionalism and the illusion of height that accompanies wearing heels. My footwear is, I think, quite professional. But something in my closet just screams that I've totally given up. And I had.

Now... a ray of hope.

Dr. Scholl's was kind enough to send me a sample pair of Dr. Scholl's Dream Walks (like, three months ago - I am soooooo late!). They are high heel insoles "clinically proven to help prevent foot pain" made from a "wicking fabric designed to keep feet dry" for all you unfortunate foot-sweaters - and hikers, I guess, who prefer to visit nature dressed like you're going to the club.

Packaging features a lot of pink, of course. Because us ladies are stupid,
and wouldn't know we are allowed to wear things if they aren't slathered
in the Official Color of Womanhood - amiright, ladies?!

Close up of the packaging. Nothing particularly exciting
about the package, except that it's not one of those made of the
plastic you have to use a can opener to get into.

These are my trusty black leather pumps. Everyone has a pair like these, right. Eh, probably yours are cuter than mine, because my friend, Lisa, says I have no cute shoes. So I assume everyone else but me is winning the footwear game. I want to be able to wear these, if nothing else. They are sturdy. They match ALL THE THINGS. But they freaking hurt my feet.

Wearing the inserts actually helped. I made it through an entire work day. My feet hurt by the end, but most of the day was fine. Well, I did hurt myself, but that's because I slipped and almost fell. I can't blame that on the Dr. Scholl's Dream Walks.

So, while they were generally effective, there are some shortcomings:

First, these aren't gel inserts. They're really just extra-cushy versions of the same old shoe inserts you can get at any drug store or super center. So they don't work as well as they could work, if they were made of more forgiving materials.

Second, they didn't prevent all pain. I still winced as I flat-footed around the house at home, thankful (for the first time) that my home is carpeted.

And, finally: Unless you have a very narrow foot, Dr. Scholl's Dream Walks don't cover the entirety of the insole of the shoe, which results in pressure against a an unusual part of your foot, and feeling like the insole is slipping under the arch of the foot.

See? It only covers about 60 percent of the real estate inside my shoe. I want it all, Dr. Scholl's. Give it to me.

Frankly, if Dr. Scholl's would just make women's work shoes - like Doc Marten did - we could skip all this runaround and just buy shoes that are comfortable in the first place. I owned Docs in the 90s, like everyone, because we were super original. All of us. Owning them was almost a requirement to graduate high school. Unfortunately, before I entered college, some jerk had stolen my Docs so I just bought some $20 surplus Army boots. Yeah. Who's real, now, grunge scene? Thrift store clothes and $150 boots - what's that even about?

Incidentally, Doc Marten only makes one pair of heels - which I would actually buy, if they weren't $140 and I didn't have to walk into pretentious stores teeming with Millennials to find them.

Anyway, here's the summary: Dr. Scholl's Dream Walks are really nice if you suffer from mild to moderate foot pain while wearing heels; and if you either have tiny, narrow feet - or you don't mind the feeling of walking around on shifting pool floats all day long.

Frankly, it felt a lot like this.

But for $7.99, and a recommended lifespan of six months, they are a good enough value for you to give them a shot. Also, here is a coupon for $2 off!