Momnesia

I am obsessed with ponzu sauce. It's kind of ridiculous - I'm putting it on everything... seafood, pork, chicken, cucumbers, tomatoes, celery, asparagus - I even tried a ponzu vinaigrette.

Ponzu sauce is a light, salty, citrusy sauce from Japan. It looks like soy sauce, and can be found right beside it on grocery store shelves. The sauce is made from rice vinegar, rice wine, fish flakes, seaweed and fruit juice from one or several Asian citrus fruits - most popularly, yuzu.

Yuzu looks like a really old orange.

The ingredients for Ponzu sound weird, until you realize that the ubiquitous soy sauce is made from fermented soybeans, roasted grains, a salty brine, and mold. Ponzu is freaking basic, in comparison.

I'd like to share the easiest freaking recipe I have tried in forever. And it didn't require cooking, or... well, much at all, really. 

Cucumber-Crab Salad

• 2-3 cucumbers, sliced thick, and then halved. I never peel them, but you can, if you prefer. Incidentally, seedless mini cucumbers work better, but they're way more expensive. (About $2)
• 2-3 minced green onions, or 3-4 tsp of minced sweet yellow onion ($1)
• 1 Tsp of minced garlic (20 cents?)
• 8 oz chopped fake crab ($3)
• 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup of Ponzu sauce (50 cents)
• Squeeze of lime juice (5 cents)
• Fresh black pepper (Isn't this basically free?)

Okay, here's how you make it. Ready? Chop everything up, throw it in a bowl, and pour ponzu sauce on it. Marinate in the fridge for 30 minutes to an hour.

Oh. Not specific enough. Fine. Here you go.

Step 1: Throw the first four ingredients in a bowl, squeeze the lime juice over it, and crack some fresh pepper over it.



Step 2: Pour over as little or as much ponzu sauce as you want.



That's it. No, really. It's a lot like making ceviche. You can chill it in the fridge and let it marinate for 30 minutes to an hour, or you can eat it immediately.

Add or subtract the whatever amount of garlic, onion, and pepper you like. I love lots of black pepper, and a dash of ground sea salt just before serving. For some, adding sea salt would make the dish too salty.

Variations:

1. Add whatever veggies you want to the marinating bowl. Asparagus and tomatoes worked well. I tried edamame; and while it didn't work in the marinating bowl, it was lovely when added in at the last minute. Broccoli and carrots were a bust. Celery was just okay.

2. Serve it over a garden salad.

3. Serve it over warm rice, with more ponzu to taste.

4. Instead of crab, use coarsely chopped shrimp, ahi, or salmon. I prefer not to cook the seafood, unless it's shrimp. I just let the marinade cook it. But it's totally up to you. I do recommend that you only cook it lightly.

5. Mix in some broken, cold Ramen, Udon, or Sobe noodles. Ahhh, carbs. How I love you.

6. Top with fresh chunks of avocado.

7. Dice the cucumber instead of slicing, and serve with pita chips or pretzel chips.

8. Add a couple of dashes of Sriracha to the ponzu sauce and whisk before adding to the bowl.

Really, feel free to make this recipe your own. Just give the versatile, delicious ponzu sauce a try.

One of the kids in Emmie's class has a severe peanut allergy, and as a courtesy, I stopped sending PB&Js in Emmie's lunch. We've been using almond butter, but at the store yesterday I noticed that a brand of soy butter, Wow! Butter, was $1.25 cheaper.


"Hey, Emmie, do you want to stick with almond butter, or try this new stuff?" I held up the jar.

"What do it tastess like?"

"I dunno. Says like peanut butter."

"Maybe it tastess like WOW!" she says, and throws up some jazz hands. She's a born smartass.

We take it home to try, and while it doesn't taste exactly like peanut butter, it passes for almond butter, and that's close enough for her.

"Hey, Emmie, you know that stuff isn't actually made from peanuts."

She stops eating and looks at me with a smirk.

"Is it made out of WOW?" Smartass!

"No, it's made out of... BEANS!"

She is so surprised that she actually drops her plate.

"WHAT? But it doesn't tastess like beans..."

"Well, they're soybeans. They can kind of be made to taste like anything, apparently."

She gasps. "Are dose MAGIC beans?"

"No, I don't think-"

"MAMA!" She grabs my arm. "We gotta get dose beans!"

I spent 7 years as a vegetarian, much to the annoyance of family and friends. I've since gone back to being an omnivore, but I try to keep my meat intake down. So it's important to me that Emmie incorporate as many fruits and vegetables into her diet as possible. Plus, it's way healthier that way.

Here are 10 tips and tricks I use to get my child to eat more veggies:

1. I started her young. She didn't have meat at all until she was about 12 months old. She has always loved carrots, sweet potatoes, green beans and peas. I have worked to build from there.

2. Hide yo veggies, hide yo fruits: Pizza and pasta are great places to hide minced vegetables. Emmie loves mushroom pizza, for example, but if I hide minced spinach under the cheese, she hardly knows it's there. When I told her, she was laughed her off at the idea that she had eaten a whole pizza slice without noticing the green stuff.

3. Let her choose. I let Emmie choose her own fresh fruit and her own fresh vegetable every time we go to the store. She has tried acorn squash, butternut squash, eggplant, spaghetti squash, cucumber, some crazy purple carrots, yucca root, and more. Not all of her attempts have been hits, but she loves to choose!

4. Dip it. Dip it good. Who says they have to be plain? Emmie hates ranch dressing - and all forms of mayonnaise - but there are hundreds of options. Fat free French dressing, hummus, lemon juice, whatever. Chop the veggies and let them try. Emmie, we have discovered, loves pesto!

5. Be consistent. If they don't see the veggies, they won't try them. Have some at every meal.

6. Do as you say. If you don't eat your veggies, you're sending conflicting messages

7. Soup. I'm telling you, soup hides all manner of horrifying foods. Emmie loves mushroom soup, so I added very finely minced onion. Then finely minces broccoli. I'll try more later.

8. Presentation is key. Make it fancy! Try a bento box arrangement, use the good china, or carve them into shapes.

9. Let them grow or cook their own food. A sense of ownership and control are key.

10. Don't fight them. If they eat the same veggies over and over, it's okay. If they don't eat any veggies, it's okay. Supplement with a multivitamin, and keep trying. But don't make it an issue. Kids will fight to be heard, but you don't want your entire parent-child conversation to be about plants.

I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Peas and Thank You blogging program for a gift card worth $30. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Now that the Olive Garden has come out with what employees already knew, that most of its "authentic Italian menu" is neither authentic nor Italian, I wonder who the restaurant had actually fooled all these years?

This is not an authentic Italian restaurant.

Certainly, Americans are not known for their intercontinental travel itineraries. So one can't expect that we would have a great deal of first-hand experience with the cuisines of other nations. But we are a nation of immigrants. Someone must have known something. "Jersey Shore" didn't obliterate everything we know of Italy, did it? I mean, the country is still standing, even though they brought their noxious cloud of Axe, stale cigarette smoke and gonorrhea to rest over the historic landscape.

How is this a big mystery solved? It's not like it was really a secret. No one who has ever eaten food at the home of an Italian family - heck, no one who has ever seen or read "Eat, Pray, Love" - would ever think that this is "authentic." So how is this even newsworthy? It's newsworthy because Darden Restaurants has been feeding Ignorant Americans this line of bullcorn for 20 years. If someone lied to you for 20 years about the very foundation of his or her existence, wouldn't you be pissed? No good can come from that.

I've never been to Italy (if anyone wants to sponsor a trip, I'll be happy to blog about it), but even I know that "pastachetti" is a bullcorn word. I know their wine selection is an exercise in mediocrity. I hold no illusions that anyone in the kitchen had learned to make Mortadella and then learned how to stuff it into intestinal casings themselves.

I worked at the Olive Garden for a few years, and the level of corporate bullcrap would make your spaghetti spin off your fork. At one staff meeting, we were asked to discuss the merits of Italian sociability.

"Can anyone tell me what 'hospitaliano' means?" the manager asked.

I raised my hand: "It's a word the marketing department made up to sell more food to people who don't know any better."

I can't imagine why I never won Employee of the Month.

This is not an authentic Italian insalata.

None of this means it isn't tasty food. Frankly, I liked a lot of it, the way I love veggie chips. Just as I don't think there are fresh vegetables in the bag, I also didn't think there was actually someone's Nonna in a test kitchen in Tuscany working her arthritic fingers to the bone to bring "authentic Italian food" to the American masses. Classic Italian recipes are well documented. What would they have been paying her for, transcription services?

Did they send their employees to Italy for training? I don't know. Maybe. I never knew anyone who went. But corporate offered a contest every year to employees. In theory, one employee from each district got to travel to the test kitchen in Tuscany to learn more about Italian food and to "bring that knowledge back to co-workers." Riiiiight. I saw "travel to... Tuscany," and immediately took home an application.

This is not an authentic Italian chicken marsala.

"Describe how this trip would allow you to bring the Hospitaliano philosophy back to your store to encourage your co-workers and better serve your customers?" it asked. Well, roughly; I don't remember the precise wording.

There were only so many stores in our district, maybe 10. Of those stores, each one submitted only one or two applications each year - about a dozen, total. I had a one in 12 chance of winning a trip to Italy. Them's good odds.

Y'all. I spent two weeks working on this essay. I worked hard. It was a four-page masterpiece of precise grammar, adjectival acrobatics and effusive corporate bullhockey. The only other employee to enter at our store was a 45-year-old grouchface, despised by many, beloved by none. She was not the epitome of "hospitaliano," whatever corporate wanted that to mean. She was the epitome of pathos. She turned in a two-sentence response to the question that - even in that short composition - contained TWO comma splices (don't judge me, y'all. I totally don't copy edit a dang thing I put up here). If everyone put as little thought as her into this contest, I was a shoe-in.

Or so I thought. Guess whose application got forwarded to corporate as the store selection?

Maybe I shouldn't have been such a smartass.

This is not an authentic Italian... heck, I don't know WTF this is. Is it even edible?

In truth, the comment I made at the company meeting was well after my application had been rejected; after I worked 10 hours of a 50-hour workweek off the clock, more than once, so the company didn't have to pay overtime; and after the third time I had to complain about the same male employee slapping my butt - one time, so hard that it left a bruise. He was later named Employee of the Month.

But, as serving jobs go, it actually wasn't a bad deal. A flexible schedule and cash-in-hand were very nice things for a college student. It was also a valuable crash course in basic public relations. Anyway, I worked at worse places. There's a certain steakhouse in town that I won't go near because I know how the kitchen is run.

This is not an authentic Italian waitress.

I am comfortable eating at the Olive Garden, although I didn't often eat there before I worked there, and I have only been back once, at my mother-in-law's request. I know the food has been stored and prepared appropriately, and I know the kitchen is clean. I know the servers work their butts off. (No one's back there making eighteen bowls of salad for your table, or wrapping as many baskets of breadsticks, guys. They run all shift long - especially during Never-ending Pasta Bowl month. Tip the shit out of them.) But I also know the food is not "hospitaliano." It's not authentic. It's not Italian. At best, it's "Italian fusion," which is like saying "nouveau Southern cuisine" - the basic ingredients and spices are the same, but there are non-native elements to them.

This is not an authentic Italian.

Usually, however, these fusion methods are not created by a corporation. Fusion is inspired by a diaspora of people and culture, in such a way that the ingredients from the immigrant culture and the native culture melt into a delicious amalgam of non-traditional but complementary flavors. Think jalapeno cornbread. But just as your Southern grandmother would not be caught dead at a freaking Po Folks restaurant, because the food is crap and the name even worse, "Uncle Nick" from the Italian side of your family would not be caught dead at the Olive Garden.

They say to find the best ethnic cuisine in your area, eat where there is an abundance of people of that ethnicity dining. For example, if you want Korean in Augusta, you don't go to Blue Sky Kitchen - though I do enjoy their version of bulgogi. You go to Arirang on Deans Bridge Road. Because what you get at Blue Sky isn't really bulgogi. Likewise, you don't go to Bonefish Grill thinking the Bang-Bang Shrimp is authentic Thai food, either. You go to Thai Kitchen for authentic Thai food. So you don't go to Olive Garden for Italian food. Italians won't set foot in the place.

I'll let Anthony Bourdain sum it up it in his own special way: "Olive Garden? That. Is. Not. Italian. Food. It may sound Italian, but so does chlamydia. That's not any good, either."

A.W.: Here's the menu from the place we're going to eat at in Vegas. Drool away...

Me: The endive with goat cheese is my JAM! Yeah, I bringing "the jam" back. Deal with it.

A.W.:  LOL!!! I don't think it ever went away...

Me: I'm not ordering any frickin' fruit soup, though. That and gazpacho make no sense to me. It's a smoothie in a bowl, people! And gazpacho is just salsa. In a bowl. But without chips.

A.W.: I LOVE gazpacho... especially GOOD gazpacho!

Me: Whatever. I'm comfortable being a troglodyte. A troglodyte who does not waste her money on a bowl of stuff I can get for free at Vallarta.

A.W.: Correction: Salsa is usually not chilled, nor does it contain cucumber. OK, maybe it is chilled, but still...

Me: http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Cucumber-Salsa

A.W.: Smart ass!! You and your cucumber salsa can suck it!!

I've devised this recipe for a far-away friend who does not eat meat. While I am not currently a vegetarian, I did avoid meat for a number of years. So I understand the difficulty in finding new and easy preparations. This isn't necessarily difficult, but it does take almost an hour, with cooking time added in.

Spinach-Leek Pastry
2 leeks (or a mess of green or otherwise mild onions), thinly sliced
1.5 baking potatoes, thinly sliced (can be omitted)
2 cups torn spinach leaves, stems removed
1 8 oz. container of feta cheese, crumbled or cubed
1 cup mozzarella
3 cups milk
2 tbsp minced garlic
1 pkg of puff pastry dough
tbsp flour, and some for dusting
butter, 2 tbsp melted and 2 tbsp just softened
oregano, basil and thyme

Preheat oven to 400. In a large pot or enormous skillet, melt the butter and then saute the garlic, leeks and potatoes with a dash of oregano, basil and thyme, until the potatoes are close to tender.

Dust flour onto a baking pan, and roll out the first pastry sheet. Evenly layer the potato-leek mixture, the torn spinach, feta cheese and mozzarella.

Combine two tbsp butter and 2 tbsp flour in a bowl and mix with a fork until very well combined. In a saucepan (or just reuse the first pot, who cares?), melt the butter mixture. Add the milk. Slowly, whisking constantly, heat the milk through. Bring it to just at a boil for 30 seconds to a minute - whisk! whisk! - and remove from heat. Whisk some more. There should be a nice white sauce.

Pour sauce over vegetables cautiously. You don't want it to run out over the sides of the pastry. It'll be too messy to cook properly. Lay the second pastry on top, crimp the sides down with a fork, and brush with melted butter.

Cover with aluminum foil and pop into the oven for 20 minutes. Remove foil and bake until pastry is cooked through.

Variations: You can really use almost any sauce with this, to give it a different flavor. Italian red sauce, Indian korma, French thyme. Not all sauces cook well inside a pastry, so you might want to think about that before you cook it. You might cook the pastry, and have the sauce for dipping. If you're doing Indian, you'll want to use a much milder cheese than these two listed. And if you're doing French, no cheese at all.

Consider adding mushrooms, watercress, legumes or lentils that have been well-drained, chopped asparagus, or artichoke hearts. You might substitute the potato for parsnips or turnip root. You could substitute the spinach for kale, broccoli rabe, or even cabbage. Whatever you have on hand will probably do.

Instead of making a pie-type pastry, you can also spread the ingredients across each sheet of pastry and then roll it up. In that case, I would find a way to hold it together with toothpicks while it cooks in the oven. But you could also put it in a pie or casserole pan and cook it open faced. In that case, though, I'd wait until the last 10-15 minutes of baking to sprinkle the shredded mozzarella over the top.

Imagine my surprise when I found a bag of frozen Ahi at Sam's Club. "No way this is going to be worth $12," I thought. And then I bought it anyway.

The bag yielded six tuna steaks almost two inches thick and about the size of the palm of my hand. They were individually sealed and they thawed to a bright pink-red. They were lovely and surprisingly delicious!

I thought about how to use what I already had in my kitchen, and got to work.

Ahi with marinated cucumbers

4 Ahi steaks
3/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
3/4 sesame oil (don't substitute, please; you won't get the same flavor)
1/2 cup lime juice
2 tsp garlic paste or minced garlic
lemon-pepper

A note: always treat the Ahi gently.

Lay the Ahi in a single layer in plastic storage container with an airtight lid or in a self-sealing food storage bag big enough to hold all of them. Whisk together the wet ingredients in a separate bowl, then pour 2/3 of it over the tuna. Make sure each piece is well coated. Seal container. Let sit for 15 minutes at room temperature, then pop it in the fridge until it's time to cook.

Slice a cucumber to whatever thickness you desire and put them in an airtight bowl or self-sealing food storage bag. Pour the remaining marinade over the cucumber, stir or shake to make sure all slices are well covered. Seal the container and pop it into the fridge.

You can let the tuna and cucumber marinate all day, but don't give it less than 30 minutes.

To cook the tuna, heat 2 tbsp of sesame oil in a non-stick pan on medium to medium-high, depending on what kind of stove you have. Gas stoves tend to cook faster, and have higher temperatures. We have a smooth-top stove, and it cooks a little lower. So I put mine on medium-high.

Lay the tuna steaks in the pan, and sear until the pale color of the cooked fish is 1/4 to 1/2-inch thick, about 3 minutes. Turn. You should see a nice sear on the outside of the fish. If not, up the heat a notch. Cook the same way on this side.

Ahi is meant to be served medium-rare. If that is not to your choosing, then cook it a little slower on lower heat, so the outside doesn't burn before the inside is cooked to your liking.

Give the top of the tuna a light dusting of lemon pepper when you're ready to serve. Arrange slices of marinated cucumber on the side. Voila!

Optional: Okay, if you don't have sesame oil, use some unflavored oil, like canola. Then sprinkle liberally with sesame seeds before serving. Or, you can skip the oil altogether and use rice-wine vinegar. In that case, though, go light on the lime juice. The dish will be much tangier, and less balanced, but still very good.

Stir-fried green beans (haricot vert if you're nasty)
2 tbsp sesame oil
2 tbsp garlic paste or minced garlic
1/2 cup chicken stock
1 lb. fresh green beans, ends trimmed
1/4 of a sweet onion, very thinly sliced
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce

Heat the sesame oil on medium in a large skillet or wok. Saute garlic and onion until onion turns translucent. Add in green beans and saute until they begin to sear. Add in soy sauce and chicken stock, and cook until tender-crisp. Optional: sprinkle beans with sesame seeds before serving.

I re-purposed some leftover fried rice from Chinese delivery by tossing it in the green bean pan when I was done, and adding a 1/4 cup of chicken stock. I stir-fried it until the stock had disappeared and the rice was heated through.

To keep the calorie and carb count down, skip the fried rice. Or substitute boiled brown rice, or try some of the black rice that's available out there. I love black rice. It's nutty, has a great chewy texture, and it's full of fiber.

Just wanted to share this with you on a morning when it's cold, after a weekend of cold, after a week of cold, and with the knowledge that it ain't gettin' warm any time soon. Something about winter - and cold - makes me not want to do anything. I go into Mommy Hibernation. So I pull out easy soup and one-pot recipes, like chili, sherried mushroom bisque (can't believe I've never posted this recipe - will do so soon), sausage soup, and Greek chicken soup.

But this morning, I made my laziest, most no-cook, most made-up, most Real-Chef-Horrifying meal. It would give Chef Heinz at La Maison the vapors. And I do not care. I love it, and it's easy.

Spicy-Sweet Meatballs Over Minute Rice
1 pkg precooked frozen meatballs
1 jar Peach-Pineapple Chipotle Salsa
1/2 salsa jar of water
some Sriracha sauce
some brown mustard
all the rice you wanna make


Take all ingredients listed before the rice, pour in a crockpot, and stir well. Set crockpot on low. Go away for a very long time. Come back. Stir. Make rice. Put rice on plates. Spoon meatballs over rice. The end.

Now, I always try to do plenty of vegetables with my meals, so I sometimes stir in a package of frozen stir-fry vegetables about an hour before the meatballs cook. Or I might stir-fry the vegetables separately and serve as a side. It doesn't matter, actually, because the fruit and vegetables in the salsa kind of serve that purpose. But more vegetables = better.

Variations: Also, we've actually stopped using Minute Rice, and now use a whole grain-and-rice mix, black rice, or quinoa. Still pretty flippin' easy. You could even use plain couscous, and pretend like it's Moroccan food, the way one restaurant in town does. In addition, you can really use any salsa you'd like. I'll bet a mango salsa would be awesome! Or you can use a regular salsa and add some chili powder and make them southwest meatballs. That might be a little weird, but tasty.

Sausage-Sprout Stew

Ingredients
- 1 package smoked turkey sausage/kielbasa, sliced thin
- 1 lb. frozen (then defrosted) Brussels sprouts, halved
- 3 large red potatoes, diced
- 5 cups low-sodium chicken broth (sausage has a lot of sodium in it)
- Sage, thyme, marjaram, savory, and parsley to taste
- 2 bay leaves, if you have them (I never do)

Cooking
- Brown the sausage in a large pot.
- Add the broth and potatoes. Bring to a boil.
- Add the spices. Let boil 5 minutes.
- Reduce heat to simmer, and add the Brussels sprouts. Simmer 5 minutes.
- Test potatoes for completion. Test broth for saltiness. If too salty, add water by the 1/2 cup until desired flavor is achieved.
- Remove bay leaves, if necessary.

Variations: You may substitute rice for the potatoes, but you will cut the boiling time down by the appropriate amount of time. You may also substitute chopped kale for the Brussels sprouts. You might also desire a splash of lemon juice, sherry, or white wine at the end. You could substitute ground turkey sausage for the links, but I would drain it after it's brown - and then even run hot water over it in a colander. This is not the kind of soup that would be improved by oils.

This soup takes less than 30 minutes to make, and is low fat, low carb, low calorie - but high flavor!


Greek chicken soup

4 chicken breasts, whole
1 yellow onion, chopped
1 quart chicken broth
1/2 cup instant rice, uncooked
Olive oil
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp thyme
Bunch baby spinach, coarsely torn
Lemon juice, about 1/4 cup

In stock pot, cook chopped onion until translucent. Add chicken, broth, rice, oregano and thyme. Bring to a boil, cover and reduce heat to medium. Cook, covered, for 5-8 minutes, until chicken is done.

With tongs, remove chicken and shred or coarsely chop. Set aside. Pour broth into food processor or blender (might have to work in two batches). Pulse until smooth and creamy.

Pour chicken and broth back into pot. Return to heat, and add spinach. Add lemon juice to taste. Cook until spinach is just wilted, serve immediately.

* Substitutions - can use any cut of chicken you like; try swiss chard, kale, or other winter green in place of spinach; consider white wine or sherry in place of lemon juice.

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Baking has never been my strong suit. But I've found that I can teach science through cooking and baking. Not deep, world-changing science. Just the scientific principles a kindergartner might be able to grasp.

Emmie's two favorite foods are Crab Legs (which she calls "crappess tails," and always has) and Anything With Sugar.

So, seeing as how crab legs are boiled or grilled and then the science lesson is at an end, I've been trying a lot of baking. We talked about the melting point of objects and the strength of bonds when we made a recipe called "Rice Krispy Treat Without Rice Krispies But With Honey Nut Spins Instead Because Mommy Didn't Plan Ahead And She Only Buys Ghetto Cereal," and we talked about solutions and mixtures and how things dissolve by making "Totally Fake Lemonade."

Today, I saw a Facebook post from Susy Allen, and followed it to a blog. Somewhere on the blog was a recipe for 5-Minute Chocolate Cake.

"No freaking way," I thought. "But what a great chemistry lesson, if it works."

So Emmie and I gave it a shot. And it was awesome. It really was as easy as you can imagine. Except... I didn't have any cocoa or vanilla extract. So we substituted cinnamon and honey.

It totally freaking worked!


4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa (or cinnamon)
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract (or a tbsp of honey)
1 large coffee mug (Microwave Safe)

Add dry ingredients to mug and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly before pouring in the milk and oil in. Keep mixing. Add the optional chocolate chips next, then and vanilla extract, and mix again.

Yay, cake batter! You need not go any further for a delicious and unhealthy snack, but raw egg apparently = salmonella lately, so I recommend seeing it through to the end.

Put your mug in the microwave and cook for five minutes. Three was a little mooshy for us. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don’t be alarmed! Allow it to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. It'll be a little spongey. But totally cake!

* Note: Check out the science kit in the photo's background. It's called "Tasty Science," and it is a big box of crazy fun experiments that don't feel like my high school chemistry classes because - hello, candy at the end! We highly recommend it, and bought it at Learning Express Toys, which Susy owns with her husband, Trey. And so we come full circle.

Tell us what flavor combination you come up with!

Augusta, GA - While I'm waiting on my new job to start, I am having fun determining new recipes from common, inexpensive items around the pantry. One if my new favorites combines a famously cheap meal alternative with the free eggs our chickens lay. It's my own skewed version of the many popular "Don" recipes in Japanese restaurants.

Ingredients:

one pkg Ramen noodles, any flavor
one egg
1/2 cup frozen mireaux or other chopped vegetable mixture
one tbsp chopped onion or scallions
1/2 cup frozen, pre-cooked shrimp



In a high-sided skillet or wok, bring the water and spice packet for the Ramen to a boil. Drop in noodles, onion, and frozen ingredients. Stir well. When the Ramen has softened just enough to break its brick shape, crack the egg over the top. After one minute, lower the heat to a simmer. Cover and continue to cook until egg is your desired consistency. Note: You can crack and scramble the egg before adding to the boiling water, but it doesn't look nearly as impressive. Serve with leftover take-out packets of soy sauce on the side - and if you're feeling fancy, lime wedges. Total cook time: 4-6 minutes, depending on how you like your eggs.

Cost:
- Eggs, free (we highly recommend keeping chickens)
- Ramen, 25 cents per pkg
- Mireaux, $1 per 16 oz bag at Kroger (> 25 cents per serving)
- Shrimp, $5 per bag (> $1 per serving)


Alternatives:
- Raman - exchange for soba noodles, Souper Meal, or rice/crystal noodles. Be aware that many of those do not come with a "flavor packet"; other alternative, any long-grain rice.
- Flavor packet - use chicken broth instead of water, and toss in a little ground ginger and chili powder
- Eggs - you can leave them out, or use egg substitute. You can also chop in a hard-boiled egg.
- Shrimp - lord, you can sub almost anything for this, so long as it's pre-cooked. Try chopped chicken, pork or beef; tilapia, salmon or crab; or scour your fridge for those not-quite-enough-for-a-meal leftovers, like pork chops, steak, fried chicken or other.
- Mireaux - any frozen veggies will do, but frozen edamame is one of my favorite substitutes for just about anything

Augusta, Ga. - So I developed this recipe for our family. I hope you like it. Total prep time: About 10 minutes, if you don't count the brining process. And since it's a passive process, I really don't. Cooking time: 45-60 minutes.

Ingredients

• One whole chicken, fresh or completely thawed
• extra virgin olive oil
• two-three lemons
• 1/4 cup Zahtar spice mix (available locally at Aladdin's Grocery on Columbia Rd)
• powdered garlic
• black pepper
• sea salt
• onion
• potatoes
• carrots

Preparation and Cooking

1. Trim the chicken if needed, and remove the little package of gross that they include with it, in case someone is literally starving and has some weird intention of eating the gizzard, which is the part of the chicken that digests things. Rinse the chicken well, and then place into a large pot and cover it with water. Shake about a 1/4-1/3 cup of sea salt into the water. Cover, and place in the refrigerator overnight.

Note: This would also work with a chicken that has been cut up already, or a package of leg quarters, but the flavoring process will be a tiny bit more difficult as you'll have to work with each piece of chicken. Also, whole chickens are cheaper.

2. When you're ready to get dinner started, drain the pot, remove the chicken, and pat dry. Start the oven, to temp out at 350. Then, gently, but firmly, slide your hands between the skin and the meat, all the way down into the legs, in order to create room for the spice mixture to set into the meat.  

Note: Rubbing spices or flavoring into the skin of poultry before baking doesn't flavor anything but the skin.

3. Stir together about a 1/4 cup of olive oil with almost as much Zahtar. It's a mild, thyme-and-seseme based mixture. Add about a 1/2 tsp of powdered garlic and a liberal dose of sea salt and black pepper. You should have a runny, pastey kind of mixture. If it freaks you out, add a little more olive oil.

Note: You can use butter for this, too, but it's not as authentic and gives it a completely different flavor. Still... butter. Yum.

4. Rub the olive oil mixture under the skin of the bird, massaging into the meat - and, again, getting down into the legs, too. If you have any remaining mixture, reserve it for the veggies. You should be taking the skin off your chicken for healthier eating.

Note: This is totally gross the first time you do it. But I don't care what anyone says: basting is a waste of time. Baste not, waste not! This is how you get the most flavorful roast poultry.

5. Quarter the onion and place inside the chicken's body cavity. Chop the potatoes and carrots into slightly-larger-than-bite-sized pieces. Arrange the chicken in a roasting pan, on top of the rack, and dump the carrots and potatoes in around it. Pour the remaining Zahtar over the veggies, or just drizzle them with olive oil, sea salt (or seasoning salt), and black pepper. Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Remove the foil, turn veggies, do not replace foil, and continue baking until juice runs clear when thighs and drumsticks are pricked with a fork or knife.

6. Remove from oven. Let sit for 10 minutes so that juices will distribute. Remove veggies from pan, and add to a serving platter. Carve chicken, remove skin from pieces, and douse liberally with fresh-squeezed lemon juice.

Note: You can mix the lemon juice in with the olive oil mixture before rubbing it into the chicken, but I don't think you get the full flavor. I like waiting until after the chicken is on the serving platter to add the lemon.


7. Serve and enjoy! Try pairing it with a microwavable whole-grain side dish, like Kashi's 7 whole-grain rice pilaf, flavored with Moroccan curry. It's easy, healthy, and goes well with these flavors!

Augusta, Ga. - I came home to find that my husband was about to do something horrible: He was about to fry chicken!

Okay, I love fried chicken. But I've been SO good lately, that I asked him if I could cook instead. He said yes - like he was really gonna argue. But then I realized that I had no idea what to do with two thawed chicken breasts and some random odds and ends of vegetables, not one of which measured up to a full serving of jack squash. (hee... see what I did just there? hee?)

Stew, I thought... no, that's boring. Stir fry? Too predictable. And we just had rice last night. And then I saw the box of jodhpur lentils that have been sitting in the cabinet for about six months.
 
They issued a challenge, and Emmie and I answered by whooping bootay.

Here's the recipe I made up, accompanied by my usual meticulous attention to measurement and detail. Please note the complete absence of salt, most fats, and the ability to go completely low-carb. You won't need any of that stuff:

Ingredients

• Some chicken, thawed and cut into cubes
• Some vegetables, cut into bite-sized pieces. We used broccoli, potatoes, and carrots; but I can imagine black-eyes peas tasting amazing in this. Also consider: onions, turnips, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, zucchini, squash, green beans, lima beans, butter beans, and sweet potatoes
• One regular sized can of tomato sauce
• One 8-oz can of evaporated milk (note: NOT sweetened condensed milk; but if you're wearing your fancy pants, you can substitute coconut milk, or similar)
• Light butter/margarine/Promise/I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, olive oil, or something else that will keep the chicken from sticking to the pan
• Yellow curry powder, cumin, garlic powder

Cooking Instructions

• Melt butter and brown chicken cubes, while microwaving any vegetables that are particularly long-cooking (potatoes, carrots, etc.) for about 5 minutes
• When chicken is mostly brown, add about a tablespoon of curry powder, two teaspoons of cumin, and a teaspoon of garlic
• Finish cooking chicken, microwaving veggies longer if necessary. You want them a little underdone. They'll finish cooking when they simmer in the sauce.
• Pour the cans tomato sauce and evaporated milk over the chicken and stir well
• Simmer for a few minutes, then taste to see if you want more curry, cumin, or garlic. Think about black pepper, but you don't have to use it
• Pour in vegetables that were microwaving, and any that weren't
• Simmer for 10-15 minutes
• Think about throwing in something that will add some crunch, because it is kind of a stewy mess - maybe peanuts, almonds, water chestnuts, raw celery or other cruciferous vegetables. We didn't do that, but that's what was missing from the dish. Next time, I'll add water chestnuts. 
• Serve over instant brown rice, on a bed of spinach leaves, or by itself (which is what we did, with the lentils on the side)

Total prep time: Maybe 10 minutes - it would have gone faster, but Emmie was "helping"
Total cook time: Maybe 20 minutes, 'cause I had everything going at once
Total satisfaction level: High - and I mean Emmie even ate the broccoli! That's saying a lot. Heck, she tried to lick the sauce off her plate!

So try this healthy, veggie-and-fruit-packed low-carb, low-fat, high-flavor dish with your family. It's definitely one we'll be revisiting!