Momnesia

The colonies are quite rowdy today

From: Stupid American 
To: British Beauty
Re: England is pissing me off

I do not understand how your counties and stuff are put together. What is an "ex," and why are there esses and wesses of them? And what's the difference between a shire and borough and a hampton and a cester? Which one has real hobbits? Why aren't your media outlets set up around population centers, and instead seem to report on areas based on historical borderlines long gone?

From: British Beauty 
To: Stupid American

Oh my gosh, it is so simple! The shires are all over the place, the country is overrun by hobbits and all anyone ever does is sit around, drink tea and fight the Germans. Doesn't matter what anything is called, since the Tories are making a pig's ear of it all anyhow.

Don't know about media outlets - historical borders still exist, so I'm not sure. Only difference is the people in chain mail and similar fighting garb tend to be there only for reenactments as opposed to actually defending the land.

From: Stupid American 
To: British Beauty

I love that phrase, "making a pig's ear!" You're the only other person I've ever known who uses it! We are meant to be bosom friends! Wait... that's Anne of Greene Gables, who is Canadian. Oh, you foreigners all look alike!

I'm working on a graphic showing how our metros dovetail with media metros there. Only I have NO IDEA. Because I don't know who is reading publications in the Lake District and the Peak Life District, since no one seems to actually live there.

From: British Beauty 
To: Stupid American

You can fit 40 UK's into the US so we don't need major "defined population centres." UK only switched entirely to digital in 2011; prior to that there were only 5 terrestrial channels. TV here is still dominated by BBC, who still dominate the radio channels, too. Of course, none of that matters now with the internet as EVERYWHERE is INSTANTLY connected on any medium.

From: Stupid American 
To: British Beauty 

That DOES help! Thank you, the size difference really puts it into perspective.

Um, also, y'all need to get some more land space. Why did you stop invading and colonizing other places? How come America has to do this for you, now?

From: British Beauty 
To: Stupid American

I think we ran out of money - and need - and tea - shortage of tea was always a problem but then India/China/Africa said they'd just sail it over, rather than us having to go to the trouble of taking it ourselves. 

From: Stupid American 
To: British Beauty

Well, that was nice of them. Let us know if they give you any trouble. We'll go free them from tyranny.