Monday, December 07, 2015
We say happy holidays
Grumpy, Angry and Jerky are not names of reindeer, people.
AUGUSTA, GA. - I see you, bumper sticker. I see you everywhere I go. That little rectangle with one simple sentence that seems to adorn every big, white SUV that cuts me off in traffic.
"We...
Monday, August 10, 2015
Product Review: Pasta Chips
AUGUSTA, GA. - Okay, I don't usually buy chips. We eat high fiber around here, so if we're buying something crunchy and salty, it's usually Boom Chicka Pop popcorn from Costco.
But I earned a Klout Perk to try Pasta Chips, and they sent a whole...
Wednesday, August 05, 2015
Cowboys always drink upstream from the herd
AUGUSTA, GA - Emerson and I are leaving campus when I spot Dr. Mike Searles leaving the Library in his usual attire: cowboy boots, jeans, plaid shirt, cowboy hat.
"Look, Em, a cowboy."
She cranes her neck. "Wow, is that a real cowboy?"
"Yep, that's...
Monday, August 03, 2015
Thanks, Obama
AUGUSTA, GA. - We're in the Children's Hospital of Georgia, waiting for Emerson's surgery to be completed. The Disney Channel is playing in the waiting room. Emerson's grandfather turns to me and says, "Huh. That actress favors Michelle Obama."
I look:...
Saturday, August 01, 2015
Kids are weird
Emerson: "My stomach hurts."
*thud*
Emerson: "Owwwww! Jackson! That hurt! Geeez, you punched my arm!"
Jackson: "Yeah, but does your stomach hurt?"
Emerson: ".... no...?"
Jackson: "Okay, you're welcome."
Emerson: "Huh. That's interesting."
Jackson:...
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Cinderella's slippers too small for the ball - and she's too big for her britches
AUGUSTA, GA - As Emerson gets older, she gets more opinionated about what she wears. I've never been a chevron-dress-and-hair-bow kind of mom. I'd rather she DID get dirty while playing. I don't want to give her any reason not to enjoy her childhood....
Monday, July 13, 2015
Vampires rising in Augusta
Augusta, GA - Emerson and I are driving home when we pass the Shepeard Community Blood Center's Bloodmobile.
"Haha!" she laughs. "Bloodmobile. What is that even for?"
"Homeless vampires," I said. "They have to take the blood to them during the...
Friday, July 10, 2015
Research shows tweens' speech patterns are remarkably similar to braying donkeys
AUGUSTA, GA - Emerson has three volumes: yelling, yelling louder, and asleep. Her tween vocal stylings really drive home to me why other parebts get their tweens cell phones: to save what little hearing us old folks have left.
One night,...
Tuesday, July 07, 2015
Doctor Who, Why and How
AUGUSTA, GA. - C.B. walked into my office.
"So, tell Emerson that I watched like 5 episodes of Doctor Who."
"...And?"
"It's the worst show ever."
"Right?! It's SO BAD."
"I don't understand why it's so popular."
"And it's been on for like FIFTY......
Friday, June 26, 2015
Now hiring out my child for motivational speaking opportunities
AUGUSTA, GA. - It had been a long day at work, and it was only just barely after lunch. I was driving Emerson and her BFF, Kayla, back to the university with me, where they'd been and helped and behaved themselves all day. But I'd only gotten...
